Relationships are not static; they take a lot of work from both parties to maintain!
Individuals in a relationship usually go through different feelings and emotions ranging from moments of romantic excitement and loving closeness to periods when both partners feel distant and are unable to stand each other.
During these trying periods, it can be tempting to bottle up your feelings in the hopes that you and your partner will pass through them with your relationship intact. However, this isn’t always the case as each unresolved problem you face in your relationship leaves little dents which slowly show themselves in the long term.
Therapists like Dr Ian Law, CEO of Relationships Australia QLD advise against waiting out your relationship problems in the hope that they’ll pass. Waiting too long to ask for help when facing relationship challenges may result in you or your partner harbouring negative emotions such as resentment and anger towards the other person.
Instead, they recommend counselling to help ensure that your union remains a loving and healthy one. Couples who have problems in their relationship can benefit from a counselling session that focuses exclusively on the problems them may have and how to solve them permanently.
Relationship counselling gives couples the opportunity to talk to an independent party to find out effective ways to settle their differences. Sadly, most couples leave it until they are in dire straits before they book in for an appointment. To prevent this, it is important to know just when you need counselling in your relationship.
When is a good time to seek relationship counselling?
‘The most common mistake couples in crisis make is seeking help when it’s too late,’ says leading relationship expert Melissa Ferrari. Here are some signs you may like to have couples counselling.
- You both keep having the same argument over and over again without any solution in sight.
- If you have children and you both have conflicting parenting styles which, in turn, affects their development.
- Either or both of you feel disconnected from each other, or life in general.
- There has been a betrayal or lack of trust in the relationship that you would like to rebuild.
- You don’t feel attracted to each other anymore. Your sex life is diminishing, is not satisfying or you are having less sex than you want.
- If one of you has an addiction or addictive personality that affects the other negatively.
Couples counselling will be good for you if you know you love your partner and you want to find a solution forward, towards a better life together.
What to expect in relationship counselling
It can be scary or unpleasant to talk about your relationship with a stranger and many couples approach their first meeting with this concern in mind. However, most quickly find themselves relaxing as they familiarise themselves with the process and enjoy the experience and benefits.
Professional relationship counsellors make use of a variety of tools and techniques to help couples solve whatever relationship problems they may have. These techniques may include: transpersonal counselling techniques, role playing and modelling, sharing emotions, open discussions and in depth analysis of negative behaviours or communication patterns.
The first session is mainly an information gathering session in which you will likely be asked to discuss your story and problems. By the second session, in my sessions, we will have a clearer idea of the nature of your problems and involve you both in exercises to help you overcome them.
Benefits of relationship counselling
Counselling can help couples:
- develop better communication skills
- become more empathetic to the emotions of their partner
- learn how to settle their differences amicably
- improve their intimacy
- learn about personal boundaries.
If you’re ready for a new way of being in your romantic relationship, book a counselling session today.